Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Living life through a plenty of fishers eyes

I set up an online dating account and dove in. My girlfriends and I have been touching on the subject here and there for the past few years. Chat, after chat, I decided to do it. It feels weird, almost violating... I instantly got a mailbox full of GROSS messages and quickly had to change my settings to not allow "sexual encounters" to contact me. Sorry- 50 year old beer belly divorcee from Chilliwack, I am absolutely NOT interested. From talking to friends it can be successful, and most definitely fun, and to be honest the fact that 50 y/o Chilliwack native told me I look like a supermodel felt pretty damn good.
In the days of no Luca I had no trouble finding a man, especially working in the industry, men are a dime a dozen. Now, as a single mom, I literally have no opportunities to meet anyone. I am home alone with Luca every night but one and that one I am working. I have convinced myself that everyone on there must be a mass murderer so the chances that I will actually go on a date are slim to none, but you never know.

Once you have exposed your single life online you live life through different eyes. Yesterday at JJ and at school all the men I saw were now different. "Omg are they online daters? Do I recognize him from p.o.f? Is he looking at me because he recognizes me and knows I'm fishing?!?!?!?

For the first time in two years I feel like I am actually not looking or wanting a relationship, the fact that during this freeing time I have decided to online date is beyond me.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Facebook prison

The first thing I do in the morning is check Facebook, the last thing I do at night is check Facebook. I refresh my feed when I am driving, I refresh my feed when I am playing play-doh. Sometimes Luca  tries to get my attention, but I am refreshing my feed. It's a serious addiction that I am ridding from my life. I am a self described Facebook fiend. I deleted the App from my iPhone and I am ready to start my new life Facebook free.

The world has gotten scary, and it happened right before our eyes. We no longer talk to each other, we know what the top of most of our friends heads look like, it's foreign for most to hear the ringing of our phones, but we know the jingle of our text notifications like the cry of our own baby. We need to nip this lifestyle in the bud before it spins out of control. Write more letters, make more phone calls, and say more "good mornings" to a fellow walker-bye-er.
I am going to test life out Facebook free and see how it goes, I will most definitely, probably, more than likely, have it back one day.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Do you stand up in the shower?

I do.
I have always been a happy stand up in the shower kind of person. When r.a.w. left I became an unhappy sit down and cry type of shower person.

I was having a convo with a friend after work a few weeks ago, she is going through a bad break up and during our chat she said, " Things are looking up, I stood up in the shower today." I stopped her in her tracks and thought oh my god this is the perfect analogy. The best way to describe a feeling in five words. "I stand in the shower."
During my dark days I would lay/sit in the shower usually twice a day. Luca could come in with me and not know I was having a mental breakdown slash crying fit. My tears would blend with the dribbles of water.
 Now we shower standing up. When we bathe, we lay down, but it is a happy stress relieving lay down. Life is good when you can shower standing up everyday. It means you are energized and ready to start the day.

Thursday, January 3, 2013


What does the New Year mean to you? Will you do things different? Stop eating those late night doritos?  Maybe you dusted off your yoga mat and bought a new pair of gym shoes.

I woke up on New Year's day feeling a rush of excitement. Extremely EXTREMELY sleep deprived I jumped out of bed at Luca's first call, feeling amazing. I am feeling good within myself. Of course wine helps on a nightly basis and- this- I do not plan on giving up. I have been working on being able to feel happy without outside influences. Sure a text here and there from a cute boy makes my heart flutter; but I feel I can get to my happy place all on my own. I don't even need Luca's help. All it takes is a constant state of consciousness. I am ok on my own, I will always be ok on my own; if someone comes my way and treats me the way I deserve then excellent. If not...well that's a super shitty waste and it will give my mother a heart attack, but it's ok.
I rang in the New Year at work with a nice glass of bubbly and a section full of lovely couples. After only a few hours of sleep I jumped in the ice cold ocean with my friend Becky to start the year off fresh. I cannot wait for what 2013 has to bring. Happy New Year!

Grumps  Luca & Nana

I've never played baseball in my life. Every pebble my mom threw at me I basically hit to White Rock.