Thursday, October 18, 2012

Sleep: It makes the world go round

I am having the laziest day of my life. Luca is at her daddy's and I am doing absolutely nothing. After lounging on the couch all morning I had a visitor who brought me lunch, then I had a bath it was way too hot so I got out and curled up with Ellen Degeneres. One of her guests today was Nicole Richie; she was talking about motherhood and saying that she wakes up at 5:00 am so that she can have two hours to her self before her kids wake up. This, to me, is sociopathic.
Luca was up every two hours on the dot until she was 13 months old.  I believe parenting does not stop at bedtime. We as mommies parent 24/7. Even in the depths of the night. This BLOWS. It is so hard. So so so so so hard. My friends all told me- let her cry, let her cry, let her cry. My best friend would come over countless nights and I would try letting her cry for tops one minute, it made my skin itch. He was mind boggled. He just didn't understand, it was so easy for him to hear it.
At 13 months I couldn't physically do it anymore. I had not had REM sleep since before my pregnancy. I think I was starting to show signs of schizophrenia. I said to myself. "Ryan is going to leave you if you don't train our baby to sleep." So I attempted it. My amazing friend who has 3 beautiful boys came over and sat on my couch with me and we listened to the agonizing, heartbreaking , terrible, death-defying sound of Luca bawl her face off. It was one of the worst things I have experienced in my whole entire life. I wished she could have moved in with me for the week to help me through, unfortunately she had he own children to mind to. She left, and I camped on the couch for the night, I left the t.v. on so it drowned out the sound. It didn't drowned anything, I woke to every wimper. I sat outside her door crying with my girlfriends voice in my head "you are strong, you can do it." I thought about how beautiful and normal her boys were after being sleep trained. If they are, Luca will be.
It took two nights. After those two nights she was a new person. She wasn't day tired anymore. She was the happiest baby on the block. She knew how to put herself to sleep and we were walking on clouds. A week later everything changed and she was back to night waking again. But not as bad because she had taught herself to fall back to sleep, without the joys of booby.
When she turned two I got her a big girl bed and now she sleeps pretty good. 3 nights out of 5 she has night wake ups, which in my eyes is normal and acceptable.

This is the most common thing mothers talk about. "Ya hi, nice to meet you; does your baby sleep?"
I think we as moms need to realize that we cannot expect our little ones to just magically sleep one day. They will sleep through the night when they are ready. No-you do not need to switch to formula. No you don't need to feed your 4 month old rice cereal. All you need to do is be patient, and if possible, nap when they nap, and of course-go to bed early.

I do not promote the CIO method, I guess it did work for us, but it was terribly heart breaking, I don't know if I will do it with my next.

The bastard had plans on leaving me no matter if our baby slept or not.

A rare occasion

Luca and Max. Max never sleeps. Never has (except this once).

Ya you better! I gave up my LIFE for you!!!!!

Sleeping angel

Chance of suffocation you say? 

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