Sunday, June 24, 2012

Just the two of us: We'll build castles in the sky.

Cause three is a crowd right?
I took a leap of faith out of no where and called it quits with b.m.l. I can't explain why, I just had a feeling deep in my gut that was screaming at me.

I came to some emotional freedom within the last few months; unfortunately, lately the elephant on my shoulders has once again started creeping up and I felt it wouldn't be fair to drag someone as amazing as him along with me. I feel like at this point in my life it just needs to be Luca and I along for the ride.

I will say I am starting to feel as if I will ALWAYS make myself believe this. I will always find something wrong, someway out.
I have somewhat of a peaceful mind-frame about my decision to ditch the bo.
I will 100% stop obsessing about companionship and know that worse comes to worse I have all a girl needs.

R.A.W. & Luca Father's day 2012

New bike at nana's

June-uary in Vancouver

Somebody please buy these for me.
Thank you!!!!
Jazzfest 2012
Jazzfest 'Picframe'

Monday, June 11, 2012


In 1993 a reported 2.72 million people in Canada suffered from this life crumbling disease, that number jumped drastically to 7.8 million in 2000.

Why the jump?

This disease is something that we need to start talking about more, this needs to be talked about on a daily basis with the ones that we love and love us. 
The society that we live in is absolutely insane. The 'things' we are "supposed" to accomplish on a daily basis as mother's, father's, worker's, lover's is completely out of hand. All of these variables are not helping with life.
 We are handed a list of expectations the second we are born out of our momma's. We are to- do this, be that, go there, be here, love this, love that, make this, conquer that. How in the world are we supposed to do all this and feel like a happy human inside? Can't we just follow the path that we were given slowly and passionately, and if all the things get done then great, and if not who gives a rat's ass. 

This is, in my opinion, the basis for depression. This society that we live in gives us no chance to be "normal." 
What we have to do is take each day with a grain of salt, for me in my life I am extremely blessed with deep, deep love and support from my friends and family.
I hadn't got a taste of depression until Luca was a newborn, it was a feeling of darkness. It would shine bright here and there, but lots and lots of days were dark, especially after r.a.w. made his decision to jump ship. Most of my days are good days now, but sometimes I go to that dark place and nothing can be done, other than knowing most of the time it packs it's bags and doesn't come back too often. 

If you feel the way I do start talking.

Blair & Daniel

Luca and all her friends