Thursday, February 9, 2012

How am I doing you ask?

Not so well.
As expected, the sadness came flooding in probably around the fourth day of being home. Its just like bringing a new baby into the world, the first four days are out of this world, you feel as if you are walking on air with the new little replica of you. That's the closest thing I can compare my feelings to. The first four days, I was getting stares from strangers because of my insanely amazing tan, my friends all came over to hear my story, told Luca and I how cool we are...so on and so forth. Then the fifth day hit and no one really cared much, I don't even think my phone rang. The lingering love and pain slowly crept back in to say hello.
Luca's birthday party was great, r.a.w. pulled through to be the amazing father he is. Two friends in particular called that night to say "I felt like any second he was just going to go in for a kiss, tell you he made a mistake, get on his hands and knees with a giant diamond and ask you to be his forever."
Ya, I know girls, that's how I feel every single second that I see him.  Seeing him being the key word. When I was away I didn't see him, so that what was tricking me into thinking I was o.k. I think. Who knows. All I do know is I WILL BE OK one day.
I will keep the specifics of her birthday day to myself, but the beginning half the three of us had a great day at the petting zoo. Later that day, the details go into my private emotional vault.


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