Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Home is where the heart is.

Two more sleeps and I will be in my own bed. Luca in her crib.
Am I excited? Am I depressed? Am I nervous?
Yes excited, no, not depressed, and yes very nervous. I guess little depressed because I haven't seen the sun in about 5 days, so ya depressed too. Nervous that the second I see r.a.w. all the treacherous pain staking feelings will come back. Scared that the peace that I found here was maybe just temporary.

I wanted to bathe in the sun my last week, work on my tan lines and Lucas bleachy hair. Instead we have sung itsy bitsy spider, skinamarinkedinkedink, twinkle twinkle little star, found a peanut, and i love you, you love me ..... about six hundred and seventy five thousand times over the last week. In the POURING down rain. I even played a game where we stacked books on my feet, put giraffy on the books and I attempted to balance them with my feet turned towards the sky for a good two hours every day. hmmmm what else? We baked a cake, I read the kite runner aloud to Luca, which I'm sure she found thrilling. She sat on my back and I pretended I was a horse crawling around the house. You name it we did it. Counting down the minutes till Ezra and Morgan returned from a 4 day trip to Boquette, and what do you know I get an e-mail saying they are coming a day late due to a shuttle mishap.
You see this wouldn't be a deal whatsoever at home, rainy, boring days. Because we have toys, (very few), movies and friends. Here we have nothing, just a house on stilts over the water and an impossible muddy village to walk through haulting us from going to town.
Mud in this country is unbelievable. Since when does mud stop you from doing what you want to do? Since I  experienced it in Costa Rica and Panama.
Yesterday we managed the village, Luca in one arm my shoes sticking in the mud and almost wiping out every 2 seconds. The one dollar taxi ride dropped us in the middle of town, as we got out (no idea why we came to town) a rusty, semi homeless looking man looked at us and said. "husband?" me: "uh, no") "where you live?", he says. Ok buddy are you effing kidding me? Do you actually think I am going to tell you that I am living in a house by myself with no phone, no weapons, in the middle of nowhere with no escape route? You've got to be kidding me.
If you weren't one step away from looking like a jailed, homeless bum then maybe I would have given you the address and directions.
So yes I am looking forward to not being mentally molested on the side of the street with my two year old. I am looking forward to making money again. No not looking forward to working for it. Excited to hear Jonah's footsteps on my head in the morning.
Mostly I am counting down the minutes to my squirrely bread and cream for my tea.
My car is parked right where I left it, my alarm set right where I set it. I can't wait to come home to an un-touched sparkly clean home.
Home is definitely where our hearts are. We can't wait!
We are down an ipod, mini dvd player, our two favorite make-believe people, tika and dada, almost all our clothes are wrecked. Empty bottle of sunscreen. We are up a library full of pictures, two brains full of life changing memories and a bond between a mother and daughter that can only be found on a trip such as this one.
Here's some pictures of our last couple weeks.

Favorite rainy day passtime. Playing in the sink.

Right before we said bye bye to the soo sooz.


  1. Jen, it sounds and looks like you have had an amazing trip in so many ways, physically being one, emotionally being the most successful! I have loved living vicariously through you these last few weeks and I can't wait to hear that you and Luca are home safe and sound. Love you! From your "FAV" Aunt!...don't worry, I won't tell Kar :-)

    1. Of COURSE you are my fav aunt!!!! Amazing is an understatement, I don't even have a word for it..
      Yes, we are home safe, been up since 4:30. EEEEK.